I will not quit blogging. I’m pursuing my Master’s in Library Science and I’ve been in the library field for (as of May 2010) eight years. I’ve vested in the profession and don’t see myself doing anything else. As such, I have lots of ideas about libraries and librarians, so I’ll be starting up a blog about that. Stay tuned, as I’ll be linking to that blog on this one once I get it off the ground.

I’ll be leaving the Joystick Cafe up so that readers may access the content I’ve published. Also, who knows: one day I may want to come back to it.

For my regular readers (all three or four of you), thanks!

For those just discovering this blog, feel free to look around. I still welcome your thoughts and comments, and I’ll still be moderating comments made to this blog.

It’s been fun writing this blog, but it’s time to move onwards and upwards. Y’all take care.

Why? Well, the horrendous connection issues for one thing. The big kicker, though, was the fact that Halo: Reach was coming out soon, Team Fortress 2 was sitting unloved and unused on my PC hard drive, and World of Warcraft…well, have you ever had a kinda-sorta on-again-off-again, not-quite-a-significant-other that you went out on a few dates with, and they were really good dates, but somehow you fell out of contact with each other, and now you still hang out but it’s only briefly and always a little awkward, even if you still have a good time? Well, that’s how World of Warcraft felt.

What’s more, I wasn’t getting any better at any of these games. I was still routinely pulling off sub-0.50 K/D ratios in BC2, and not exactly winning a whole lot of medals in each game. Plus, the few times I would play TF2, I would always humiliate myself and be either a contributing factor in my team’s loss or a non-entity in my team’s win. As for WoW, I was celebrating dinging 68 and making it to Northrend when most of my guildies were raiding Icecrown Cathedral on a nightly basis. Add to that all of the other games–tabletop or digital–that I play, and I was just spreading myself too thin, sacrificing improving my skills at a few games for the experience of playing lots of them.

So I’m trying something new: I’m actually going to get good at the games I play instead of play lots of games. I’m going to be more of a competitive gamer and less of an academic one. Does that mean I’m transforming into one of “those gamers,” the kind that scare new gamers away and make them give up on shooters and fighting games? No. I’ve always played with respect, with a minimum of trash talk (at least that my opponent could hear…) and I love teaching new gamers how to play. Does that mean I’m losing all appreciation for artistic and narrative games? No. I’m still hacking away at Dragon Age: Origins and Half-Life 2 (I *will* finish it this time), and I can’t wait until Limbo comes out. But I’m going to focus more on improving my skills at competitive games as opposed to helping myself to a broad sampling of games. I’ll be playing just as much, but I’ll be playing less unique titles.

Am I going to be at the top of the leaderboards because of this? Probably not immediately. But my thinking is that if I do focus on getting better, well: I will.

Funny how that works, isn’t it?

Ya know, I could get all emo about Gabe Newell turning his back on the Xbox 360/PC faithful who have stood behind Valve and supported them with our hard-earned dollars, but I think I’d rather see the Sony fanboys  who kept saying that Newell thought the PS3 was “too hard” to develop for (Newell actually said it was a “waste of time”) eat their own words and turn that Valve hate into sweet, sweet LOVE.

Of course, one could say that Valve isn’t standing by their principles, so why should the haters? Well, here’s the thing: Valve could develop for the PS3 with their eyes burned out all along, they didn’t just want to spend the time and manpower working around the PS3 hardware (said by many developers to be the most difficult hardware to develop for) to get their games to the same level of quality they are on the 360 and PC. So they’re not selling out so much as maybe they had some spare cash and decided to take the leap.

And before the haters even chime in with “but Sony’s trying to advance things! Of course their system is going to be hard to develop for!” let me say that the most effective way of getting developers onboard with your console is to NOT make your system so hard to develop for, even if you have to sacrifice a little performance. As of yet, the only developers to really knock things out of the park on the PS3 are developers *owned* by Sony.

So, with that being said, this is actually a fine moment for those who love Valve.  When Portal 2 drops, and the PS3 version is mind-blowing, those who have trash-talked Valve because they won’t develop for Sony’s system is going to have to shut up.  And, because I don’t hate Sony, I’m glad their getting some love from Valve.  It’s a sad world without Valve games (The Orange Box doesn’t count; EA developed the PS3 port of that), and that’s world in which PS3 games have had to live.

Or, buy the DVDs.  Ya know, the ones that cost $60-80 each, that take up space on my shelf.  Right.  Surely, there’s somewhere I can legally buy them digitally from, right?  At a fair price, of course–”fair price” meaning “not the same price as the DVD with the box and disc and everything.”

Apparently not.  The first season is available on iTunes for about $60.  For that price, I could have the nice boxed set of DVDs, not just data.  And, I could use a program such as Handbrake to copy the discs to my portable media devices or to my computer hard drive; if I buy them from iTunes, it will be absolutely choked with DRM.  It’s listed as “not currently available” on Amazon Video on Demand, whatever that means.  For some bizarre reason, as I stated before, it’s no longer on Netflix’s Instant Viewing.  I could hit up CBS’ website, but not all of the episodes are up there (and if they are, it’s organized so very sloppily that I don’t know where to start).  It’s not on Zune Markeplace.

Sure, I could go the Netflix route and get the discs, but here’s the thing: I want to watch the episodes at my convenience, not absorb them all in one chunk.  I can’t do that if I get the discs, unless I up my subscription to include more than one DVD at a time.  I don’t want to do that.

So you see, I’m in a bit of a bind.  I’m willing to legally purchase the whole series, but I want to pay a fair price for what I’m getting and I want to be able to control how I consume the media that I purchase.  I don’t want to buy the discs because of costs and storage space.  In this glorious modern age, there’s no reason I should find myself in such a predicament.  I should be able to go to any digital marketplace and click on “buy” and BOOM–there you go.

The only logical explanation is that copyright holders are a bunch of blowhards.  They arbitrarily cut us off from the media and delivery system we want so as to force us to pursue more expensive and/or less convenient alternatives.  And they wonder why people download illegal copies of movies, music, TV shows, and–dare I say–video games?

Don’t get me wrong; I can’t stand the entitlement complex that pro-piracy advocates seem to have.  I’m especially annoyed when people pirate video games with a heavy multiplayer component.  When servers are flooded because more people have a game than bought it, the experience of legitimate customers is impacted and, well, your rights end where mine begin and all.  I believe in paying for what you consume.  Plus, pirating is just such a hassle.  Have you ever tried to download a torrent?  It takes forever to get it done, it’s unreliable, and it can be frustrating just finding what you want.

But when you’re done?  Oh, DRM-free goodness!

Not that I’m pirating Star Trek, mind you.  But it’s pitiful that the only way to get exactly what I want is to circumvent the law when I’m willing to pay good money for it.

Look, Capitalism, I’m supposed to be in control here.  I dictate the market, right?  Give me what I’m looking for, or people like me will continue to pirate your wares.  And you know what?  I can’t say that I blame them, despite my own feelings on the matter.

UPDATE (5/21/2010): It seems that CBS  has posted the entire run of Star Trek on YouTube!  While I still can’t watch it from my couch, at least I can still watch it at my leisure at no cost to me, perfectly within the bounds of the law.  While my general thoughts on piracy and DRM are unchanged, I commend CBS–and any other copyright holder who does the same–for doing this.  Sorry if I’m late to the party, and sorry I didn’t check this outlet before going aggro.

So yes, lots of people gaming is a good thing for the gaming industry and general gaming culture.  But what “us?”  Ya know, the kids who were playing video games in high school, when cool kids didn’t play video games (and if they did, it was only sports and fighting games)?  What about those of us who were pointing out the mental and social benefits of gaming long before the American Library Association decided it was a worthy cause to support?

What about people who were never satisfied merely saying “I play video games” or “My friends and I get together for DnD once in a while” but always said “I’m a gamer?”

I’ll probably never stop playing video games.  As I get older and money gets tighter and I’m forced to grow up, I buy less new games on release day and give the old standards a bit more shelf-life than they once had, but I don’t see myself straying too far away from playing video games or deciding that tabletop games just aren’t for me.  I love playing games and I’m not a hipster; I don’t hate on something just because it’s popular.  But I can’t help but think: are we having an identity crisis as gamers?  Can we really call ourselves that anymore, given that we’re increasingly more like your Joe and Jane Average everyday?

Granted, not everybody who plays games is a gamer.  If you go out to the driving range and use rented clubs to tee-off a few times, just for the sake of hanging out with your friends, you’re not a golfer.  If you set out some potted plants on your front porch and water them when they get dry, you’re not a gardener.  And if you mess around with Bejweled on your lunch break but couldn’t tell me the first thing about the Halo: Reach beta, you’re not a gamer.

But as gaming dumbs down (yeah, I’ll say it: please tell me how Facebook games are anything BUT dumbed-down video games) for the masses, the line blurs being “gamers” and “people who play games.”  Some people are playing casual games and Facebook apps with the kind of blood-hungry zeal that hardcore FPS freaks have for their favorite games.  It’s hard not to think of these people as gamers, even if their games are a bit low on the complexity scale.  Couple this with the fact that seemingly everybody on Facebook plays something (I don’t), and you’ve got a heaping load of potential gamers.

So, my question to you gamers out there: do you feel that there is a day that’s coming where the label “gamer” will be null and void?  I don’t think so.  As I stated previously, there is a distinction–at present–between people who play games and true gamers.  There will always be that distinction.  Some people will just take their games more seriously than others, always.  Even now, most of the new gamers are quick to point out that they aren’t heavily into games and gaming, as if they defending their hobby.  It’s almost as if things have never changed.  For a brief moment in history, gaming was cool; now, we’re almost back to the point where pale-skinned nerds have huge water-cooled rigs or a vast collection of miniatures while the cool kids just roll with Pet Society and Wii Fit.

The other scenario: everybody goes hardcore and games take over the world.  I would not mind this happening.

Either way, video games are here to stay–and so are us gamers. 

Um, why?

This is Bungie we’re talking about. They have the money and the personnel to see to it that the beta was ready to roll out at midnight. Instead, they’re taking their sweet time, all the while there are fans drooling in front of their 360s, mindlessly accepting the wait.

It’s hard to not feel as if one is being strung along, but at least this is something that is free; in fact, the beta itself is a privilege. It’s got me thinking, though, of just how poorly the gaming industry treats its customers.

Think about it: the price of new video games has been standard for two decades, while the price of DVDs and CDs have gone down. Digital content is the same price as physical media in the gaming industry; slightly cheaper in other entertainment businesses. Games are delayed perpetually, only to be subpar. A game may or not get proper support, post-release, and let’s not forget the evil that is DRM.

The gaming industry has gotten lazy, and we’ve let it get that way.

How to fix it without us giving up games?

I don’t know; I’m open to suggestions.

Why? It’s all about the caffeine/sugar high.  It’s all about getting one more hour of alertness before sleep kicks in, about making sure your neurons are firing at the proper speed and your thumbs are at their most dexterous.  Who cares about those silly baseball players and their silly steroids: gamers invented the concept of performance-enhancing drugs.

Of course, greasy protein (such as bacon, beef jerky, or pizza) is just as much a part of a gamer’s diet as anything else.  You’ve got to stay full for those marathon sessions, so you don’t break your stride making a pizza roll run.  You load up on pizza rolls before you game.

Of course, that’s what us adult gamers tell ourselves to make us feel better about that third can of Monster.  In all honesty, a balanced diet and getting enough sleep are much, much better for making sure your brain is at peak performance.  There’s just one drawback: if you take good care of your body and mind, you won’t go crazy–and to be a gamer, you’ve got to be at least a *little* crazy.  Why else would you pull all-nighters on WoW or spend 12 hours locked up in a room smelling of sweat and Red Bull?  Because you’re crazy, that’s why.  So, one could say sleep deprivation and not getting enough sunlight is just as much of a gamer’s diet as caffeine, sugar, and dried meat.  It keeps you crazy enough to do the crazy things gamers do.

So just how unhealthy is a gamer’s diet?  Well, let’s examine what a true hardcore gamer eats in a day.  For argument’s sake, let’s just say this is a day just for gaming: the gamer in question does not have to work and has no obligations outside of the house.

Breakfast

Cold pizza or Pop Tarts, Mountain Dew

Nothing can kill a great day of gaming like having to take time to prepare a healthy meal or, you know, bathe first thing in the morning.  The sugar in the Dew and Pop Tarts will kick start the caffeine in said beverage; if there’s leftover pizza in the fridge, one can opt for that to get a little protein in.  Other substitutes for Pop Tarts include–but are not limited to–snack cakes, a slice of birthday cake, or a Dorm Room grilled cheese (ya know, made with that thing you’re supposed to use to make your clothes look neat).

You are allowed traditional breakfast food if you’re eating at IHOP or Waffle House, but you should only eat at Waffle between the hours of 1 AM and 6 AM–or between the hours of 6 AM and noon, if you have not yet gone to sleep.

Lunch

Pizza or Taco Bell,  Mountain Dew

Like a sommelier pairing a fine wine with an elegant meal, the true gamer knows that there are two flavor combinations that not only never get old, but also taste like video games: anything off the menu from Taco Bell and Mtn. Dew, or pizza and Mtn. Dew.  And you can’t just order one thing off the menu at Taco Bell, oh no, you’ve got to get at least three separate items.  The advantage of both foods is that you can eat them with one hand: PC gamers will tell you just how convenient this can be.  There’s nothing like having one hand free to scarf down that Chalupa while you zerg-rush some poor n00b.

While we’re on the subject of Mtn. Dew, let’s talk about flavors.  Everybody has their favorite flavor of Mountain Dew.  Most gamers prefer the classic Yellow #5 (not the real name), but Code Red is also quite popular.  I seem to be in the minority on this, but I can’t put down the Voltage.  That.  Stuff.  Is.  Good.  Oh, and whenever Pepsi Co. decides to grace us with the presence of Game Fuel, I buy a case and make it last.

Snack

Energy drink of your choice, big bag of Dorito’s

Dorito’s pose a problem: dust on your keyboard/controller/character sheet/etc..  That doesn’t mean gamers aren’t willing to put up with this minor inconvenience to experience the satisfying crunch that only a Dorito chip can deliver.  Said crunch also functions as a sort of edible alarm clock, keeping you awake during those slow hours of the afternoon.  Ditto for the energy drink: Dew has caffeine o’plenty, but nothing says “It’s time to stop farkin’ around” like pulling out the tallboy of Monster or Red Bull.

Oh, and in case you were wondering: I prefer Sweet n’ Spicy Chili Dorito’s and Monster Assault (though a Monster M-80 is good for the illusion of nutrition, as it contains orange juice).

Dinner

Open up a bunch of crap from the freezer and cook it until the smoke alarm goes off, pull out all the stops on the caffeine

This is it: the sun has gone down and it’s getting late.  You’re about to enter the mad hours, the time of the day where NOTHING GOOD can happen–except for some sweet gaming bliss.  You’ll need all the sugar, caffeine, and saturated fat you can get hold of you if you ever want to see the sunrise.

But you can’t interrupt your game.  So you open up some of that stuff in the freezer–Hot Pockets, chicken wings, chicken nuggets, pizza rolls, cheese sticks, the sky’s the limit–put it on a pan, and then jack the oven up to 450.  When you can smell it, it’s done.  Take it out of the oven, put it on the kitchen table, and get back to your games.  This is especially handy when you have friends over.

Oh, and keep the caffeine coming.  Let it flow like the blood of the enemies you are crushing before you.

Some adult gamers like to bring out the adult beverages for gaming sessions.  I for one feel that gaming and less-than-peak mental skills are two great tastes that DO NOT go great together; save the alcohol for movie night.

So, yeah: pretty bad.  Why would anybody do that to themselves, you would ask.  I’ve already addressed the performance issues, but there is another–a more precious–reason why.  It’s simple: for gamers, especially those my age, gaming is something that has its roots in childhood.  Part of the reason why I’ve played video games all my life is despite how mature the content gets or how complex the game play mechanics become, playing video games makes me feel like a kid again–and guess what I did when I played games as a kid?  That’s right: scarfed down junk food.

So, as long as this practice is done in moderation, is keeping a gamer’s diet really that bad of a thing?

You see, like so many gamers, I game with my mouth wide open.  I’m generally a well-spoken person, but not so when I play video games, especially fiercely competitive games such as first-person shooters.  Even if it is under my breath, the things I say while gaming are not nice.

So my question is this: why do us gamers have mouths that make sailors, construction workers, and hockey players cringe?

There’s a few reasons I can think of to explain.

1.  The Y Chromosome. There are lots and lots of awesome girl gamers out there; in fact, I know just as many girl gamers as I do guy gamers (after all, it was a girl watching me play Halo 3).  I think it’s cool that there are just as many girls that game as guys, but it’s still very much so a man’s world: especially when it comes to hardcore, competitive games.  And while I have nothing but anecdotal evidence to back this up, it seems to me that males tend to be less shy about saying horrible things than females.

2.  Competition and Aggression. There’s a reason why TV networks don’t stick a mic in the helmet of every NFL player.  When a person gets fired up competitively, they act out more aggressively; part of that acting out is their filter shuts off and they tend to say what they think.  Games such as Modern Warfare 2, Halo 3, Gears of War 2, and Street Fighter IV stir up one’s competitive nature just as much as high-activity sports do: it’s one reason I like to play them.  I love to compete, even if I rarely win.  The flip side: when the adrenaline kicks in, so does the potty mouth.

3.  Street Cred. Using profanity gives one a certain air of edginess, even in the day when an R-rated movie can top the charts.  Simple as that.

4.  Psychological Warfare. Every gamer knows these two mind tricks: 1) convince your opponent that you suck, so they’ll think you’re an easy win, thus they will be sloppy in their technique and end up losing to you, and 2) convince your opponent that you’re awesome, thus stressing them out and forcing them to over-think their game plan, thus making them lose to you.  A third one is pure shock and awe: intimidate them in every way possible, grate their nerves, make them angry at you, and just generally make them think about everything but the game.  When your mouth sounds like the way a landfill smells, it’s easier to do this.

Now, with all of that being said, let me say that I am in no way defending the use of profanity, while gaming or doing anything.  I’ve heard it said that the use of profanity is intellectual lazy, that a more refined person can think up more creative and poetic insults (however, I must argue that a properly-executed profanity can be just as poetic; re:  Samuel L. Jackson).  Profanity is also terribly offensive to those with light sensibilities, and to expect everyone to share your sensibilities is self-centered and rude.  What’s worse, especially when gaming, is that once one starts using profanity, they open a dangerous door to racial and sexual slurs–and that will get you banned from communities such as Xbox Live.  So if you’re not worried about hurting somebody’s feelings, perhaps you should be worried about being kicked out of the playground.  When in doubt, do what I do: mute your headset, even in team games.

A large part of me thinks that people, gamer and non-gamer alike, simply need to accept the fact that hardcore gamers use filthy language.  Stop trying to deny it, stop trying to fix it, and carry on.  Don’t like it, don’t listen.  With that being said, gamers need to be cognizant of those around them.  If your girlfriend or your little brother is in the room, put the reigns on your language.  Actually think about what you’re saying when playing with others; a frustrated f-bomb in a public game is one thing, calling somebody a fag is another.  If nothing else, we don’t want to prove right the stereotype that all gamers are, if not basement-dwelling losers addicted to Mountain Dew, brainless armchair jocks addicted to Mountain Dew.

And if you’re playing in public, not online but at a LAN party or your public library’s gaming event, simply don’t use profanity.  I know it’s difficult: I’m in charge of my public library’s gaming events, and on the few chances I get to actually play I have to use every ounce of willpower in me to not use gamer’s mouth.

It kind of helps that I’d lose my job otherwise.

Oh, and as for that lady-friend–she’s actually agreed to give Halo 3 a try.  We’ll see how lady-like she is once the fragging starts. 

I loved MW2 at first, despite the fact that I wasn’t that good at it.  I was good enough; I knew the rules of the various game types and I grew to learn the maps well enough to be able to communicate to my teammates where I had just died, so that somebody more able could rush in and avenge my sorry ass.  I never intended to compete in a formal tournament–though it would have been fun, I’m sure–and I knew that the top 10…100…1,000…ya know, anywhere near anywhere but the bottom…of the Leaderboards were out of my reach.  But the game was fun.  It grew more fun as I steadily got better, and I eventually even scored some positive kill/death ratios (despite having an overall K/D ratio of an embarrassing 0.33) and respectable win/loss record.

But something has been happening as of late.  The game has been showing its weaknesses.  Good-spirited competition has given way to me just being a bullet sponge.  The moments where I have genuine fun (even if on the winning team) are few and far between.

Quite frankly, everyone playing this game on Xbox Live has turned into a giant dick.

I’m exempting my clan, 2old2pwn, who are genuinely great guys with a good sense of competition and humor.  They play to win, but they don’t obsess over the game (not the way this kid does, anyway).  And one thing they don’t do is play like a bunch of hygiene products (take your pick as to what kind).  Everyone else on XBL, however, has lost all sense of honor–if they even had it all.

Take, for example, a recent game of Headquarters Pro I was playing.  My team was getting destroyed.  The other guys had a 130-0 lead.  An HQ opened up, and our opponents had the entire map locked down: there was nowhere anybody on my team could go and stay alive.  Did they send one guy on their team to take the HQ, and possibly the win?  No.  They just kept killing us, running up their kill counts, embarrassing us, making us feel *this* big.  I quit the game, and I never quit a game.

Put all of this on top of the inherent problems of the game: camper-friendly maps, inconsistent hit detection, and akimbo shotgun sniper rifles (I try to maintain some sense of professionalism on this blog, and I’ve already used two profanities, so I’ll keep my true feelings about this to myself) and MW2 is no longer a fun game to play.

I’ll do private matches and Spec Ops with my friends.  Those are fun.  But going out into the great wide open and hoping for the best?

Not gonna happen.

Sure, I could watch them on my computer, but many of the same issues pop up; the screen is just bigger on my Macbook.  I could watch a vodcast on my desktop, but my desk chair is horrible.

What was I to do?

Well, after finding a vodcast (comics artist Don Kramer giving a talk at Kanakee Public Library) and downloading it to my jump drive, I had a brilliant idea: plug the jump drive into my Xbox 360 and load it up through my media library there.

I was able to watch the hour-long vodcast in comfort, lounged out in my room, with my Macbook open to take notes; all while downloading the “Episode 13″ expansion for Assassin’s Creed II.

Of course, now I want a vodcast subscription app native to the 360, so I can have episodes downloaded straight to my console and watch them on-demand, kicked back in my chair with a bowl of Dorito’s and a case of Mountain Dew; and then, when I’m done, press a few buttons and immediately go into a few rounds of Modern Warfare 2.