I hope that this is what the World of Warcraft movie will be like.

I don’t much care for the choice of music, but an opening sequence like this to a full-length WoW movie would be quite possibly the most awesome thing ever.

Saw that clip on EXTRALIFE by the way.

Hollywood is populated by gutless petunias.

I’m going to discuss something I typically try to avoid: politics.

NO WAIT!  COME BACK!  YOU’LL LIKE THIS, REALLY!

John Scott Lewinski from Wired wrote an interesing piece examining why The Dark Knight has not been hailed as the single greatest movie ever made by all major critical outlets nominated for a major Best Picture award (namely, the Golden Globes and New York Film Critics).

Yes, it seems that it’s true what “they” say.  Everyone in Hollywood is a bleeding heart liberal and can’t stomach the sight of a fictional character who wears body armor and a cape so that he looks like a bat roughing up another fictional character (who wears clown make-up) in a fictional interrogation room in a fictional police precinct in a fictional city in a fictional version of the world in which we live.

Two fictional gay cowboys going at it in a tent is fine, but when Batman goes old school on the Joker we have to draw the line.*

WTF?

Yes, this is one man’s theory, but I can see it holding water: a great amount of water.  Most artsy folks do tend to lean liberal and are offended by any kind of conservative notion or idea.**  Hell, one of the guys I went to this movie with whispered “I’m not sure about that…” when Batman unveiled his incredibly awesome cell-phone spy network.

It’s a shame when real-world politics stifles the artistic greatness of a movie (or book, or album, or game).  Refusing a movie its due accolades because of the presence of unwarranted spying, torture, and vigilante justice is present in the film is no better than conservatives trashing Grand Theft Auto IV because it has prostitutes in it or the His Dark Materials series because it challenges notions of religion and the existence of God.  It’s not okay to complain about the close-mindedness of right wingers and then get all whiny when you see guns.

In short: The Dark Knight was a great movie, one of the best I’ve ever seen and the best one to be released in a year full of great films that also happened to be popular.  Give it a shot; this movie deserves it.

And let’s pretend for a moment that The Dark Knight “really did happen.”  Let’s pretend that an extremely well-connected, manipulative, elusive, homicidal maniac was on the loose.  Let’s pretend that he has proven to be entirely closed to negotiation.  Let’s pretend that he will not stop until everyone is just as crazy as he is.  Now let’s pretend that there’s a man who is willing to step up and take him down without compromising a single human life, not even the one of this most evil of all villains, and the only thing he needs is a temporary state of pseudo-martial law; and when it’s all done, everybody will have their privacy restored and every record of every wire-tapped conversation will be destroyed beyond recovery.

Does going old school sound so bad then?

*Just for the record, I saw Brokeback Mountain and I loved it.  It was well made movie, a genuine love story, and had two of the best characters ever in it.  It was very thought-provoking and very respectful of the challenges homosexuals face.  It deserved every Oscar it was nominated for and should have won Best Picture.

**Furthermore, this is nto a slam againstl liberals.  I have found that going too far in either direction is a quick way to go insane and eradicate all joy from your life.  If you want to know my personal politic stance, just know that I like guns, have no problem with gay marriage, think that nobody should have to pay for health care/education, and would really, really like to see our government STOP SPENDING MONEY THEY DON’T FREAKING HAVE ON CRAP THAT THIS COUNTRY DOESN’T FREAKING NEED.

Wow, I feel kind of…cleansed…after that.

WTF SERIOUSLY? NO BEST PICTURE NOD FOR THE DARK KNIGHT AT THE GLOBES?

Okay, okay, okay.  I know.  It’s the Golden Globes.  Not necessarily the Oscars.  But in the first award season that geeks would even give a crap about since 2005-2006 when Lord of the Rings: Return of the King won everything, I’m severely pissed to see that the only nod that The Dark Knight got was a Best Supporting Actor for Heath Ledger.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d be double-bacon-with-cheese pissed if that wasn’t the case; Heath Ledger’s turn as the Joker was the single best performance I have ever seen in any movie, and for once (I think that Smoking Aces is good, Transformers is Oscar-worthy, The Rock is the greatest action movie ever, and Jingle All the Way is a holiday classic without a trace of irony) the critics seem to agree with me.  So as far as I’m concerned, Ledger being nominated (and winning) every best supporting actor award in the world is a given.

BUT NO BEST PICTURE NOMINATION?  ARE YOU HIGH?

The Oscars had best not pull this crap.  I mean, I can’t do anything but get really, really mad, but by jove I will get really, really mad.

It’s Best Picture for The Dark Knight or the Academy is a bunch of poo-poo heads!

If you want to share in my rage, head here.

Punisher: War Zone is a great movie.

Unless of course, the sight of heads exploding offends you in any way, then you will be repulsed by it.  I however, spent two hours going “OOOOOH SNAP!”

Yep, Frank Castle definitely chose the Bloody Mess perk at level 6.

Brett Ratner set to ruin God of War movie

Yes, yes, it would seem that Brett Ratner, the genius behind the Rush Hour series, is set to direct a God of War movie.

It’s as if a thousand gamers cried out in agony, and then were silenced.

It’s bad enough that he’s also at the helm of the new Conan movie.  Rob Zombie apparently wouldn’t take the gig because the script was already complete.  That’s too bad.  A Rob Zombie Conan film, with a buffed-up Bill Moseley or as-he-is Tyler Mane playing Conan, would have been awesome.  Not only would it have been guaranteed to be one of the goriest movies ever made, it would have been far truer to the Robert Howard stories than either of Arnold’s vehicles (which were good fun, but not true Conan).  However, all we have left is the man who made the X-Men series end with a whimper as opposed to a very loud bang to take on one of the most violent and brutal anti-heroes ever, and now with Ratner directing a God of War film we have him responsible for taking on two of the most violent and brutal anti-heroes ever.

Don’t get me wrong: I liked X-Men 3 for what it was, but it was far inferior to the first two films, and the Rush Hour films were silly comedies that were funny the first time around but lost their charm after the initial viewing (not to mention the third one was unnecessary in all kinds of ways–talking about beating a dead horse).

God of War is a dark story about greed and blood-bought redemption, about one man’s arrogance and pride being his downfall.  These are not new themes mind you, but are they the kind of themes we want a man who thought that Guitar Hero would make a good movie tackling?  I can just imagine it now: Ratner will no doubt cast The Rock as Kratos, and give him a wisecracking sidekick (probably played by Jonah Hill), tone the violence down to a few quick, bloodless fights, and completely forgo any mentions of Kratos’ haunted past in favor of…oh, to Hell with it.  I’m about to cry just thinking about it.

At least we can take comfort in one thing: it’s bound to better than anything Uwe Boll could make, not that that’s saying much.